It’s been quiet around these parts, hasn’t it? I’ve been marinating on these words for a couple of months now, but I feel now is the time to share them.
We launched J@H a year ago, thinking it would be a blog about all things home-related. Then it turned into an Etsy shop and the blog fell by the wayside. Every free moment consisted of dreaming up new designs, sitting in front of a screen, burning the midnight oil. I was tired, impatient, and not the most pleasant wife or mother, of that I’m certain.
Suddenly, I had a realization that I have never stopped going, going, going. Every moment, every day, I was chasing the next best thing, never satisfied with the present. This didn’t only apply to my entrepreneurial endeavors. It applied to my career, my home, my children, my marriage. Nothing was good enough, just as it was.
The initial feeling I had following this epiphany was shame. How foolish I had been to not be thankful for the present, a priceless gift. Almost immediately following this realization, I prayed that the Lord would work on my heart. And that, He did. Instead of posting filtered images on Instagram, I slowed down and noticed the way my children interact with each other around our coffee/train table. When I thought of my husband, I thanked the Lord for his many strengths instead of remembering his imperfections. Instead of complaining about the wall color in our home, I was filled with gratitude that we didn’t flood, although water came uncomfortably close. Though in the past, I had viewed each job as a stepping stone, I embraced my workplace and the people in it. When temptation to compare myself to others crept in, I opened my Bible to remind myself to whom I belong.
I wish there were words that could accurately express the transformation that has taken place in our home. God is at work, and though the pruning isn’t pleasant, I am grateful. For the first time I can remember, I am sitting still, allowing God to speak, and not making moves on my own terms (and you better believe that for this Enneagram 3 individual, it’s easier said than done at times). Dreams are still being dreamed, but I’m finding that the journey is quite breathtaking. It’d be a shame to miss it all.
More to come. Soon.